Seven Proven Ways to Drive Yourself Crazy with Meta Programs

Most people are already pretty good at crashing relationships and goofing up communication. Different people have different thinking styles. And people usually like their own thinking just fine, it’s the other people they have trouble with. Look around you, and you will see plenty of irritation, anger, frustration and conflict. How do they do it? How do they succeed in creating all this trouble? Or even more important: How do you do it? Let’s have a look at seven effective and time-tested ways to get frustrated through thinking styles. Seven proven ways to drive yourself crazy with Meta Programs.

What are Meta Programs?
Meta Programs are elements of your mindset, things like ‘towards’ (focus on goals) versus ‘away from’ (focus on problems). Your mindset is a combination of Meta Programs and values. Your mindset often determines what you do and how you feel.

MindSonar Meta Programs

1. People with a different thinking style suck
Let’s start with one of the most effective ways to get frustrated: believe that your own thinking style is the best one in the world. If not to say the only one. So for instance, let’s say you think in terms of the future and you like options. You could then simply call anyone who thinks in terms of the past and procedures an ‘old-fashioned coward’. This is a great technique, because it guarantees that you will meet old-fashioned cowards everywhere.

Guiding Principle: My Meta Programs are the only sane Meta Programs there are.


2. Mismatch proactively and in great detail
Let me explain the jargon here: ‘mismatching’ means that you focus on what’s bad or wrong. Its counterpart is ‘matching’: looking for what is right and good. If you mismatch proactively, that means that you do it without thinking about it much. You just simply do it all the time. And if you mismatch on all the details, you have a huge number of things you can find fault with. Everywhere you go, you will notice lots of things that are bad or wrong or incorrect or just simply ridiculous. Especially when you are an emotional person, this can be a perfect self-despairing technique.

Guiding Principle: Use the Meta Programs ‘mismatching’, ‘proactive’ and ‘specific’ in combination with each other.

MindSonar Meta Programs

3. If it doesn’t work, do it some more
Your thinking style is great for some things and not so great for other things. It may be great for designing buildings but not for playing with children. That’s why some people are flexible in how they think. So here is another great frustration booster: if your thinking style is not working, do it some more! For instance, if you feel strongly responsible for things and you are exhausted, do it some more of that: start taking even more responsibility.

Guiding Principle: Stick to your Meta Programs no matter what.

MindSonar Meta Programs

4. Find derogative words for other thinking styles
If you are a very practical thinker, you like to ask: what are we going to do with this? How can we use this? And if you work or live with someone who is more of theoretical thinker, they like to ask: what is the essence? Now watch out! You might be tempted to appreciate them for their different thinking style. Don’t! Instead, call them ‘cerebral’ or ‘vague’ or ‘pedantic’. Finding derogative words for their thinking style works great as a relationship destroyer!

Guiding Principle: People with other Meta Programs are dumb, ugly and [fill in negative qualification here].

MindSonar Meta Programs

5. Try to motivate people without understanding them
Sometimes you want to suggest to people what would be a good thing to do. And their thinking style usually differs from yours. And this provides you with yet another great opportunity for self-frustration! Lets say, for instance, that you think in terms of goals you want to achieve, and they think in terms of problems they want to avoid. So you vividly describe the things they can achieve with your plans. And they respond with a blank stare. An awesome self-frustration technique!

Guiding Principle: Everybody has the same Meta Programs I have.

MindSonar Meta Programs

6. Explain to people what is wrong with them
You have probably had someone, a friend, a co-worker, a family member, whoever, come up to you and start complaining to you about you. You were not doing things right, you wanted the wrong things, you didn’t treat them right, and so on. Remember: if they can do that to you, you can do it to them! For instance, if you are focused on the future and they are focused on the past, explain to them – in great detail and at great length – how much better it would be if they focused on the future more. Just like you do. And if they protest? That’s because they are so focused on the past. Explain that to them.

Guiding Principle: Clearly explain to others why they use the wrong Meta Programs.

MindSonar Meta Programs

7. Surround yourself with people who think just like you
This last technique can defeat not only individuals, but whole organizations; whole countries even. And yet it is quite simple to do. Just select people who have the same thinking style you have. And then simply refuse to talk to anyone else. Do you think in terms of goals? Only work with goal oriented people. Avoid anyone who thinks in terms of problems, they just make things difficult. Do you focus on feelings? Only work with other feeling types. Avoid anyone who focuses on pictures or stories, they just confuse things anyway. And so on. The beauty of it is: you can use all of the other techniques I described above to support this one!

Guiding Principle: Find people with the exact same Meta Programs and talk only with them.

Internal Locus of Control: Good or Bad?

Look at the picture. Isn’t Superman a prime example of internal locus of control? You don’t see Superman throwing his hands in the air and sighing ‘I sure wish I could save the world, but hey, it’s a pretty complex task’.

A colleague who works with criminals as a therapist, had a difficult week last week. One of his clients murdered someone. And this, understandably, upset him very badly. He felt he should have seen it coming. In the last Continue reading

The Dalai Lama’s Thinking Style

By Rolf Scheerder

When the Dalai Lama visited the Netherlands, 48 thousand people came to him in the Ahoy stadium in Rotterdam. The ideas the Dalai Lama teaches people all over the world are impressive. He made me curious: what meta programs does this inspiring leader use when he speaks about his beliefs?

I noted down the most obvious meta programs. I list them here,  in the order of their intensity. After each meta program I copied (in quotes) some phrases the Dalai Lama used.

  1. First I noticed that everything the Dalai Lama shared is coming from an internal reference.
  2. Concept: “At the smallest level of matter there is nothing, externally there is only mental projection. Time exists by virtue of past and future, the present consists by virtue of mental projection. Matter at an absolute level does not exist, neither does consciousness (this idea about matter is a concept from quantum physics that was already known 2000 years ago by Buddhist monks).There are four Noble Truths.
    First there is the truth of the basis, the cause, that leads us to happiness and suffering.
    Second there is the truth of stopping the suffering,
    Third there is the truth of practicing the path (emptiness) that leads us to the stopping.
    Fourth is the truth of the state of lasting happiness.
  3. Structure: “’Cause’ versus ‘result’ and ‘suffering’ versus ‘happiness’ are interdependent; 4 values, 16 principles, two truths, two levels, three main issues… Understand that interdependencies without dependencies cannot exist. Violence exists only due to the concept of ‘we’ versus ‘them’; thinking about what is good for us without thinking about what is good for others.”
  4. Reactive: “My philosophy: teaching Buddhism based on the principal acceptance of spiritual messages. Not just out of devotion, first analyse what is said.”
  5. A bit of proactive behaviour was visible when the Dalai Lama helped the presenter getting the microphone in the right position. The Dalai Lama shows a lot of humor, he won’t hesitate to say something funny, even when this might confront the sensitivities of the person concerned. So he invited his female guest of the day, a well-known politician, to sit in his chair because of the size of her body.
  6. Towards: “Get ahead by practicing the path, pursue happiness.“ “Practice basic understanding, find out the causes of suffering, then practice the path, it leads to a state of liberty.”
  7. Some ‘Away from’ in mentioning: “Avoid negativity.”
  8. Procedure: “Every day I get up at 3.30 am, then I do meditation, then I listen to the BBC radio and analyse the news. My daily rhythm goes on till 6.30 pm, then I go to sleep.” “Mentally I easily adjust to different time zones, physically it is more difficult.”
  9. Options: “From my fourth birthday on, I had to learn rituals. I am through with rituals, better go to the core of our thinking.”
  10. Matching: “The cause of suffering is ignorance, everything is an idea based on something else, everything is based on interdependence. Many governments are developed more, and there are still many problems caused by mankind. Action depends on the right motivation and that comes through awareness.”
  11. Mismatching: “There is a global lack of moral ethics, which argues for a secular ethics.” (coming back to matching).
  12. Internal locus of control: “We are the cause of our suffering, by ignorance. Two levels: first not understanding how things work versus having inner peace, second stick to the self as an absolute existence. As sticking to an absolute enemy, it causes anger and 90 % of anger comes from projection.”
  13. People: “Have great compassion for all living beings, free them from suffering.”
  14. Information: “Learn from all religions, schools, quantum physics. Know what you believe in.  Accept information only after your own analysis. Understanding, knowledge is essential. To relax I read the works of great masters of Nalanda.”
  15. Activity: “It comes down to investing.”
  16. General: “7 Billion people are physically, emotionally, mentally the same, a whole. Buddhism does not believe in creation, the world was already there.”
  17. Change: “In the cause of liberation, focus on the suffering. In the cause of enlightenment, focus on the suffering of others.”
  18. Past: “Explained by insights.”
  19. Present: “Be conscious.”
  20. Kinesthetic: “We have to learn to deal with our own emotions, children in basic education, devotion, compassion, love, tolerance. Things that matter exists not by objectivity.”

Striving for goals or steering clear of problems?

“Meta Programs are subconscious mental-emotional filters that determine what you attend to, what you sort for, and what you respond to in life. These patterns identify how you process information and what motivates you to act.” – Coaching In the Workplace, Tim Hallbom and Nick LeForce

Our Intention with this blog is to give you some experience with each of the different Meta Programs that MindSonar™ measures, and how you can learn to easily integrate them in any setting, whether it be personal or professional. Each week you will learn all of the different Meta Programs in depth.Continue reading

Optimal Mindset for Project Management

A video about Dutch MindSonar professional Rien van Leeuwen, who did an interesting MindSonar project with project managers. Combining MindSonar with his own questionnaire about Human Success Factors, Rien looked for connections between meta programs and success factors. He identified two patterns that are involved in successful projects. In the video, Rien describes his research.

Poland Certification Training – Slide Show

Tomek Zawadzki did it again: the second MindSonar Certification Training started in Poland in June. It was taught by Jennet Burghard, an esteemed member of the MindSonar Experts Committee in the Netherlads. Jennet is also a very lively and people oriented trainer. A professional photographer recorded the training. Watch the slide show, and you will get a feeling for the open learning atmosphere that Jennet and the participants created in this CT.