Anna’s story: MindSonar helps Anna develop a Healthier Lifestyle

Mindsonar Helps Anna Develop a Healthier Lifestyle

Anna was born in UK in 1962. She is married with two adult sons, who are both married. During the latter part of 2019 one daughter- in-law was diagnosed with cancer and the other delivered Anna’s first grandchild. 

Anna’s passions are all centred around meeting the needs of her family and friends. She accepts the role of matriarch and carries all the responsibilities that go with this role.

Anna at 58 was beginning to ‘feel her age’ more, including being less mobile and experiencing more aches and pains. She was initially motivated to live a healthier lifestyle by the realisation that ill health can affect people of any age. She enrolled in a group eating plan and successfully lost 12kg. 

Anna explained that she was always the chunky one in her circle of friends, and that her Italian heritage meant food was not to be wasted. She has tried many different eating plans and programs to be leaner and fitter, all of which work for a while. Then she often finds herself back where she started. She feels she lacks willpower and discipline to maintain any eating or fitness changes.

Anna’s Mindsonar:Anna used a Mindsonar profile to explore her motivation and her thinking style around “eating and exercising for a healthier lifestyle”. 

Anna spent much of her time talking about her family, family life and her role within the family. She feels that her role as matriarch of the family means she must be there for everyone, all the time, leaving little time to herself. She both enjoys this role and resents it at times.

She mentioned her parents had known food scarcity and that food was never to be wasted or taken for granted. The Italian tradition of feeding the family together is something she aligns herself with and is proud of. She enjoys feeding people food that makes them feel happy.

Anna also mentioned that she likes to know she is doing well when she engages in eating plans. She has joined face-to-face weight loss groups, where she enjoyed being a ‘good member’ and seeing the scales /record card results gave her a sense of achievement. Being with the other members and giving and getting support from them was all part of the group enjoyment for her.

She wants to lead by example and prove that she is committed to living a long and healthy life, to seeing her grandchild and future grandchildren grow up, and more importantly, playing an active part in their lives. This links in with her senior family member role and that of an influencer in the family.

Her Graves drives fully support the above with a strong Purple Drive, Security  (safety, belonging, tradition, feeling at home, togetherness, seniority) and her Orange Drive, Winning (competition, success, achievement, results, progress, influence).

Her wish to be looking and feeling right, good, doing things correctly, along with her seeking external validation from others as to how well she is doing in her weight management. She sees her eating and exercise as a small part of the bigger picture or her role in the family. She has responded to her daughter-in-law’s ill health with a renewed desire for change, albeit in gradual steps to keep the family harmony undisturbed during this stressful time.

Matching  – Anna is reflective and applied with the Matching metaprogram; this is supported by her thinking about the many things she could do if her eating and exercise routines were aligned to her living a healthier lifestyle. She wishes to play a long and active part in her grandchild’s life for example. She can imagine the days out and the things they will do together and does talk happily about them. She talks about how well she supports her family, her friends and how they are her purpose. Being a good wife and mother, and now grandma really matters to her. 

External Ref  – Anna is conscious about how she looks and mentioned that her place in her circle of friends is at the back ‘I’m the chunky friend that walks in behind the others’ and other such comments. She mentioned that exercise classes made her feel uncomfortable, her feelings of tight clothing, and of being sweaty were all issues for her. What other people see, how they might react, what they may say, all matter to her. She is conscious that what she eats or how much she eats might also be judged or watched by others. 

General  – Anna used lots of ‘should and must’ statements whilst talking about eating and exercise. She focusses these on what she has seen or read – aimed at people like her. She will think about lots of these ideas and some she will action; most she will be reluctant to commit to as they will impact on other areas of her life. She will be happy if the things she might chose to do, fit in seamlessly around her existing life. In fact she stated ‘I’d like to eat at a buffet and know when to stop without thinking about it’ and she wanted to learn how to ‘refuse food, but not the sentiment it was offered in – equating with love and comfort.’  In relation to exercise, she wants to ‘do exercise without it being a hurdle:’ just the use of the word hurdle shows she may see exercise as a barrier to be overcome, as opposed to ways to overcome it. When talking about more specific ways Anna might approach her eating and exercise, she had things she wouldn’t or couldn’t do – things that affected the family, her husband etc.

Development – Anna has demonstrated throughout her profile and her conversations with me that whilst she is ready for change, it has to be on her terms and within a timeframe, she can accommodate – causing least disruption to her existing life.  Small changes she accepted could start straightaway, and she wanted to track these and see her results before escalating them. Anna is determined to not stay as she is, this news about her daughter-in-law is pushing her towards change. She feels uncomfortable, and yet is tentative in her steps towards change. 

Anna’s post profile session key pointsAnna had not considered that by focussing on the good things so strongly, might mean she has been avoiding the things that might happen if she does not make changes. Quite emotional at the thought that even though she knew members of her family had a tendency towards certain medical conditions, she was ignoring them. 

Anna also worries that her less healthy lifestyle might be affecting her adult children’s view of her; wondering why she has not kept up the things she has tried already. This bothers her, she does not like feeling that she is failing. [against her Graves Orange and Purple Drives]

She made the decision to spend some time reflecting on this, and even finding out more about what the family history was in relation to health conditions. [Mismatching]

Anna and I explored the idea that she might consider how she might have some of her own ways to validate how she looks and feels; we discussed simple ways that she might try things within her control. Anna made several comments that led me to believe she was uncomfortable with some aspects of using her own standards.  [Internal Ref]

She did concede after resisting for a while that as the main cook in the home, her husband ate what was served and thanked her for it… so planning healthier meals to share with him might not be the issue she felt it might be. She also agreed that she was a great organiser and made sure that things were done in a timely manner around the house and within the family – so a suggestion that she could schedule time to exercise at home using a home based online video was an option, whilst not her preferred style, with support Anna did start to be more responsive to trying things out [Specific]

When asked what her strongest reason for changing her eating and exercise routines – she firmly stated that being around to see her grandchild grow up was at the top of her list. When asked if she could imagine using this as her motivation to change – she surprised herself at the reaction she had – quite emotional and she said it was like the lightbulb went on in her head. [VK along with motivation]

She sounded much more animated and her words were much more positive in relation to making some changes going forwards. She mentioned her husband is behind her all the way, being supportive. She also mentioned family and friends that she knows would support her. [Together -Towards]

Anna wanted to understand how her thinking styles were helping or hindering her wishes to live a healthier lifestyle. She felt that the profile report and subsequent coaching sessions gave her a different perspective on her goal. 

Once she had explored her reason why, living a healthier lifestyle was important and how it could fit into her existing lifestyle with some specific changes; she could reframe and accept that a healthier way of eating was not only possible, it could be done without any disruption to her family harmony. She also identified that as a rule, she planned day-to-day commitments; finding time to commit to an exercise routine that did not make her feel uncomfortable or vulnerable to criticism was also possible.

After supporting Anna to take her MindSonar profile, receive the results and take part in two coached sessions I believe she has started to think differently around her wish to live a healthier lifestyle. Whilst she has become familiar with her motivation and the ways she thinks about the issues around eating and exercise; she has not yet had the coaching programme that will help her achieve her goal, by understanding more about what she thinks about and what she avoids thinking about – she is in a positive mindset, ready to create changes congruent with her motivation.

Anna’s Feedback

  • What an amazing read! 
  • There was so much to take in, there is so much information in the report.
  •  I understand that I struggle to do it [eating and exercising for a healthier life] on my own. 
  • This is true as if my husband is on board it is much easier for me. 
  • I think I need to focus on myself more and not rely on others so much.
  • I also think that the reference to ‘summertime’ might refer to a positive mood as I am affected by the weather, as I suppose most people are.
  • I also picked up that I tend to focus on the good and positive but the bad effects of being overweight and inactive, realising that this can lead to illnesses.
  • I need to finish things and see it through – probably not focus on a weight loss goal but continue a healthy lifestyle forever!

MindSonar Professional DevelopmentRecognising that any personal change such as Anna’s exploration of her eating and exercise mindset will bring up strengths and highlight opportunities for growth.

Her VAK was level across the board, meaning she was open to many metaphors and visual imagery as well as willing to listen and ask questions. VAK might be the last section of the profile – should it be one of the first to be considered when working with a client?

Her Graves drives on numerous occasions reflected in her language and gestures. Seeing her motivation supported in all her initial and post report conversations, was a great illustration of how effective the profiling is in relation to motivation.

Exploring absences or low scores in Graves and metaprograms is something I am aware that is my thinking style coming through, whilst working with the client I am guided by her words and her thinking style – yet matching and mismatching can be a rich learning space in this kind or personal journey.

This client is one of a series of 6 profiles all focussing on the same context – eating and exercise for a healthier life.

Please feel free to message me of you have an interest in using MindSonar in this context.

Aiming for Success and Shooting for the Stars

Waleska shooting

Ana Waleska Soto Abril, is a unique Guatemalan athlete. She is the only Guatemalan to  have participated in two sports in the XXII Central American Games and Caribbean Games in Veracruz, Mexico 2014 (Softball and Gun shooting in pit mode). Among sther athletic achievements are the following:

Medals (2010-2020)

• Silver Medalist in XXII Central American and Caribbean Games Veracruz 2014 (Hunting Weapons Shooting)

• Bronze medalist XXI Central American and Caribbean Games Mayagüez 2010 (Softball)

• Gold Medalist in Central American Games 2006, Panama (Softball)

Other achievements

• Participation in XX Central American and Caribbean Games Cartagena 2006 (Softball)

• 8th place at XXVII Toronto 2015 Pan American Games

• Currently classified for the Tokyo Olympics (2020, postponed due to pandemic).

Competition, Ideals (Integration), and Power
As a competitive athlete, it’s no surprise that her predominant Graves drive is orange (competition and winning). She is an athlete who participates in two very different sports that require different mindsets, softball is a team sport, while shooting is a solitary activity, even though she belongs to a team. It is therefore understandable that her next dominant Graves are those of together and power.

Her orange Graves is predominant as she seeks to be the best. However, as a member of a team it is also important to find harmony and solidarity with your teammates to win. When she participates in a team she is motivated by the support of others and knows that to win the team members need to work together.  Her reputation as a high-performance athlete motivates her to excel, not just in one event but two. It is important to her that others recognize her achievements and know of her reputation as a double athlete (red Graves), and winning medals represents her excellence and need to be recognized.

Metaprograms

Among her highest metaprograms are present, internal locus of control, development, and matching. Additionally, they are closely aligned with her criteria of concentration, emotional control, motivation and their meta-criterion of good performance.

These prominent metaprograms are congruent with the type of competition Waleska is participating in. The context of this evaluation is “while I compete [in shooting].” In this sport, various targets (plates) are thrown into the air, at random and from different angles. The competitor must have a high concentration to know when to shoot the target to reach her goal. This is where the present metaprogram is seen; She needs to be focused on the targets that are being thrown at the moment. During the event, she has to use her knowledge and experience to shoot at the right time. She needs to evaluate the elements “cold blood” and then decide when to shoot. It depends on her if she hits or doesn’t hit. This is where her CCI is evident. To perform better, she has to train consistently and make adjustments to her technique slowly. In our conversation, she mentioned that sudden changes throw her off balance. She can become irritated and may lose emotional control. (She may get upset at the sudden change).  Her need for emotional control and gradual, planned changes is evident.

Waleska is clear on her goals, and knows how to reach them due to her long experience as a competitive athlete. She has a clear and reachable goal, to win she has to hit as many plates (targets) as possible. And to stay motivated, the Matching and Towards metaprograms play an important role in her performance.

One of the things that came out in our conversation was her high together and proximity metaprograms, since this is a sport in which individuals compete alone.  Waleska explained, when we talked, that she places great value on working with her coach, listening to his suggestions, and creating new habits to improve her technique. She knows that to perfect her technique she needs to be consistent, and here she activates her development metaprogram a bit. She says that if she can be consistent, it will give her body a certain automatic discipline that will improve her performance. We talked about her specific metaprogram that when she focuses too much on the details, it can prevent her from seeing the big picture, and may cause her to lose emotional control.  Despite this, we can see that Waleska is a fairly self-aware athlete, and this has led to her exceptional performance.

Have a look at Waleska’s MindSonar profile and share with us what you see.

Evaluation by Sergio Saenz with the collaboration of Debbie Yarhi and Jaime Leal.

World boxing champion has a unique combination of thinking styles.

Esther María de Los Ángeles Micheo Santizo is a Guatemalan athlete, outstanding in her sports career as well as a successful entrepreneur.  María, The Unstoppable <<la imparable>> Micheo, is a unique athlete, who practices different sports, and gives herself to them with passion. She has specifically excelled in Karate, where she holds a Black Belt III Dan (48/51 kg.) obtaining the following triumphs:

• National Karate Champion (2001, 2012)

• Karate Do Gold Medals 2001 to 2012

• Gold medals in invitational tournaments (Guatemala, Salvador and Nicaragua) 2001-2012

• Gold Medal Murayama Cup, Mexico 2008

• Bronze medal – Team tournaments- USA Open, Las Vegas 2008

• Bronze Medal Central American and Caribbean Championship Karate Do (2007-2009)

In addition, she has participated in 5K and 10K races and half marathon (Antigua, Guatemala 21 km), where she obtained the first places.

She then decided to train in MMA (Mixed Martial Arts), where she participated in  6 fights, winning them all.  After, she began dabbling in boxing, which is her new passion. She is now a professional boxer, has participated in 8 fights, and is the current Champion for the WBC International Absolute Title.

Micheo, Sergio Saenz and Jaime Leal during the MindSonar results

María, in addition to being a successful athlete, is also an entrepreneur. She is the owner and founder of the Micheo Boxing Academy, located in one of the most prestigious shopping centers in Guatemala.

With the arrival of Covid-19, Maria’s business was impacted negatively, and her competition scheduled for July was postponed. This has not stopped the titleholder, who is now teaching virtual classes to her students, and is continuing  with her training for her next fight. To earn additional income, she has launched a startup of heathy cupcakes.

Metaprofile

Not surprisingly, this high-performance, enterprising athlete’s predominant Graves Drives, are order and power.

In professional boxing it is very important to maintain and present yourself to a fight with the exact weight. A few grams too many or too few means a penalty for the boxer. The blue Graves Drive keep her disciplined, in shape, and exerts great control in her lifestyle.   Additionally, as an entrepreneur with several businesses, she needs to be disciplined with her time, finances, and consistency. We can also see that her criteria are closely aligned with her predominant Graves. Her preparation and maintaining her exact weight boost her self-confidence.

She is well aware of her reputation and the importance of her name when she wins a fight or is starting up a business with her name.  That is well aligned with her high Power Graves Drive.  It keeps her earning titles and continuing with her training regimen so that when she fights, her name can get a wide audience.

Her highest metaprograms are Towards, Matching, Internal Locus of Control, and Proactive.

Being a high achiever, it is natural that her highest metaprogram is Towards.  She sets goals and focuses on how to reach them, and with high Matching, she sees no obstacles to winning. After establishing her goals, she develops an action plan (Blue Graves), and jumps into action (proactive metaprogram). It is not surprising that her internal Locus of Control is another predominant metaprogram, since she depends on her sense of discipline and her preparation to obtain the best results. However, this Metaprogram changes radically when she is in the ring, according to our conversation: “I only execute what my coach tells me to do, I pay attention to everything, but my coach is the one in control”. While Maria is in the ring, she is attentive to her coach’s vision and opinion, keeping her focus on her goal but shifting to an external reference and external locus of control.  Micheo comments in the interview that one of her mistakes in the past was not trusting her coach, and that not having a coach that she could fully trust, was something that affected her negatively in the past. Today she has managed to overcome her distrust which helps her win more often. It is an interesting mix of Metaprograms for sure!

In addition, her strong options and specific metaprograms allow her to identify the different alternatives during the event, to make quick decisions and achieve her goals.

We deeply thank the Guatemalan champion for allowing us to learn more about the way a champion thinks.  There is no doubt that the combinations of Metaprograms and the emotional intelligence to know how to handle them to her advantage, are part of the sustained success of María Micheo, a talent still in the making.

For our Mindsonar Professionals:

1. It is important not only to recognize thought patterns, but to understand how our clients use them to manage the criteria. In this sense, the delivery of results and the conversation around them are key.

In her evaluation, her high ILC result changed completely in the conversation, where she made it clear that she has a high ELC when fighting, as she follows the instructions of her coach, she is there just to execute the plan, her Coach has a huge role in control.

2. Rare/infrequent combinations of thinking patterns can also have positive results.

3. As MindSonar professionals, our thinking patterns also play a role in the analysis of the MindSonar report.

Professionals who conducted the study

Sergio Saenz and Dr. Jaime Leal With the contribution of Debbie Yarhi

Improving Relationships with MindSonar

As I’m writing this on the eve of Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d take a look at how MindSonar might be useful in the work I do with clients experiencing minor, but constant, conflict in their relationship with their partner. You know the sort of thing – arguments that seem to flare up  from nowhere, over nothing.  I’ve worked with clients who tell me that they and their partner have no major differences in values, political views, religious beliefs, etc. and yet seem to end up bickering daily about minor things. These arguments, although seemingly unimportant, can gradually start to impact upon the relationship, making one or both partners unhappy.  In turn, this can lead to bigger arguments and so set up a destructive cycle.

This sort of conflict is very often due to the meta programmes being used by the individuals.   Common problems that I see are:

  • One or both partners running a Mismatching meta programme in everyday life. Constantly seeing what is wrong gets in the way of appreciating the things that are right. In a relationship this can lead to a perception that the partner is a negative thinker, down on everything – even a nag. That said, there are times when running a Matching programme can also lead to problems, particularly when a couple is planning a major change in lifestyle, with the risk of the “matcher” being seen as not being realistic about problems and obstacles that might need to be considered in order to succeed.
  • One partner is Internally Referenced and the other is Externally Referenced. In this situation, the internally referenced partner might be frustrated that, when they are thinking aloud about things that need to be done, the externally referenced partner immediately does it – taking the partner’s words as an instruction, not just a thought.  I have certainly experienced this, and the frustration that it can cause if not understood simply as a difference in thinking patterns.
  • One partner has a strong Options meta programme, and the other is highly Procedural.  This difference often causes unexpected  arguments when the couple are planning something about which each is excited – a holiday or a celebration for example.  They begin by feeling great as they start to arrange it, but end up bickering as the two meta programmes cause frustrations as they begin to plan.

In fact, large differences in any of the meta programmes can lead to feelings of being misunderstood or not listened – the basis of many disagreements.

By jointly experiencing a MindSonar assessment and coaching session, the couple can gain an understanding of the underlining differences in their thinking styles and the way that this is impacting upon them.  As MindSonar stresses the usefulness and equality  of each meta programme, the couples can learn to appreciate their differences, rather than to judge them.

Such a session could provide the couple with the following benefits:

  • Each partner can get an insight both into the meta programmes in play in their chosen context.
  • Each can become aware of occasions when they have run the other meta programmes, thus recognising them as flexible ways of thinking, rather than as inherent ways of being.
  • The couples can also “try out” the other’s meta programmes with their given context in mind to gain their perspective on the situation.

Overall, MindSonar can enable couples to appreciate each other’s thinking style and also identify how they could use such differences to complement, rather than conflict with, each other.

Couples work is just one example of the flexibility of MindSonar in working on conflict resolution, and highlights its usefulness in personal as well as business coaching.  I’ll certainly be recommending it to my clients.

Working with new managers

WORKING WITH NEW MANAGERS

Over the years, I’ve found that a common client problem that is brought to coaching is that of a newly-promoted manager struggling with a promotion from team member to team leader. The related changes to the relationship with members of their team, coupled with developing a leadership mentality often leaves them feeling stressed and insecure about whether or not they are performing their new role effectively.

Since training in MindSonar, it has become apparent to me that one of the underlying causes of the stress lies in the client’s manager not recognising my client’s need for feedback on their performance during the early stages of their new role.   The more senior managers are generally experienced leaders who are expected to take initiative and make decisions. Consequently, they tend to be predominantly Internally Referenced. This can result in them not recognising (or remembering) that new managers may be more Externally Referenced in the context of their new roles, requiring some feedback on how they are progressing.  This difference can lead to new managers being left to their own devices and feeling unsupported, as their managers believe that they’ll either cope or request support as and when needed.

Less often, new managers feel they are not trusted because they feel that their manager is micro-managing them and giving feedback far too often.  Such cases are less frequent, but can also arise from a disparity between the Internally/Externally Referenced Thinking Styles.

In larger organisations, formal structures may exist in which regular feedback meetings are undertaken, but these still operate on the assumption that all staff are running the same thinking patterns, which of course is not the case. The result is that some feel that such meetings are too infrequent (those who are highly Externally Referenced) and some feel that it is micro-management (those who are more Internally Referenced).  Many smaller businesses have no feedback procedures at all.

If middle and senior managers were to invest in MindSonar profiles for their direct reports, they could tailor their approach to individuals, giving more frequent feedback to those who prefer it (the Externally referenced individuals), and feedback on a “as needed” basis to those who do not (the Internally referenced individuals).  This would reduce the stress and insecurity felt by all members of the team, whether new to post or not. As a result, team members will feel more motivated and so develop within their roles more productively.

Of course, there are other Thinking Styles which are at play in such circumstances, especially around the changing context of moving from team member to team leader.  The MindSonar profiles will also enable more experienced managers to support their junior managers to handle those changes too.

If you are a middle or senior manager who would like to get the most from your junior managers, then contact your local MindSonar Professional to learn more about how MindSonar could enable you to get the best out of your team, and keep each team member motivated and less stressed.

If you’re a coach who works with managers at any level, then you’ll find becoming a MindSonar Professional a really worthwhile addition to your coaching toolkit, so do consider adding it as soon as you can.

The Manager who didn’t want to Live in the Now

By Jantina Wijtsma

I was coaching Bert, a manager who worked for a non-profit organization. Bert had a whole list of questions for me:

  • “How can I manage my team to be ready for the future?”
  • “How can I renew the values in the team asap?”
  • “How can I move us forward fast?”
  • “How can I quickly achieve the best results for the company with the people I manage?”
  • “How can I earn money for us in the future?”Continue reading